I’m not sure how I’ll handle the early days. I’ve always needed a lot of sleep and quiet time, so I’m not sure how I’ll manage with a newborn. I trust the universe will provide, but it’s definitely on my mind.

I’m on fertility medication and hopeful I’ll get the green light to proceed with my first insemination next week.

So much has changed in three months. I left roadlife after 1.5 years in Baja, Banff & so many backroads in between.

The HSG results indicated that I might have a misshapen uterus—potentially bicornuate—which could make it harder to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term.

This test was really painful. They inserted a balloon inside me, inflated it, and then injected dye through a catheter to see how it moved through my uterus, fallopian tubes, and into my abdomen.

Last month on Mother’s Day, sitting alone in my trailer, I felt an overwhelming, almost debilitating longing to be a mom. I felt almost hopeless and definitely frustrated — would I ever meet the right partner so I could get pregnant?

Now that I’m sober, I trust myself. Now that I trust myself, I can be a mom.